{"id":3568,"date":"2011-08-05T08:30:44","date_gmt":"2011-08-05T12:30:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.synchrosecrets.com\/synchrosecrets\/?p=3568"},"modified":"2011-10-27T16:35:42","modified_gmt":"2011-10-27T20:35:42","slug":"beloved-infidedal-the-f-scott-fitzgerald-saga","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themysticalunderground.com\/?p=3568","title":{"rendered":"Beloved Infidel – the F. Scott Fitzgerald Saga"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Rob was teaching another six-week meditation course in a Taekwondo studio at the rear of our gym. It was the fourth session and began with Rob talking a bit about what we were going to do that evening.<\/p>\n

At the beginning of our first meditation, he said, we should ask about an issue that concerns us. It could be anything, in any area \u2013 relationships, profession, family, money, whatever. The music he played was comprised of an orchestra of singing bowls and the beautiful textures of the tones made it easy to slip into a relaxed state. For some reason, I started thinking about all the people we have known over the years who have died. Not just family, but individuals in publishing with whom we worked. I thanked all of them for what they had done for us, and suddenly recalled a weird encounter in 1988.<\/p>\n

Diane Cleaver was my first agent. She was a Brit, gay, whose name I got from the parents of an aspiring writer who lived in the same complex I did in Vero Beach. I was teaching English to hormonal 7th<\/sup> and 8th<\/sup> graders at the time and writing nights and weekends. Diane had just left her position as an editor at Simon and Schuster, had joined Sanford J Greenburger, and was looking for clients. I had just finished my first novel.\u00a0 It was 1978.<\/p>\n

That first novel didn\u2019t sell. Neither did novels 2, 3, 4 or 5. But Diane never gave up. I wrote, she submitted, and in 1984, Chris Cox at Ballantine Books bought In Shadow, <\/em>my sixth attempt. \u00a0After Rob and I got married, Diane became his agent, too. Periodically, she would send tips our way that were based on our interests,\u00a0 skills and location. Hey, you guys interested in this project? That project? <\/em> One day she called and asked if we would be interested in working with Sheila Graham, who was writing a memoir.<\/p>\n

\u201cTHE Sheila Graham who was F. Scott Fitzgerald\u2019s mistress? THAT Sheila Graham?\u201d I exclaimed.<\/p>\n

An amused chuckle from Diane. \u201cYes, that<\/em> Sheila Graham.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n

Well, yes, we were interested. I was beside myself. I loved Fitzgerald\u2019s work, had read everything he\u2019d written, everything that had been written about him, his wife, Zelda, and about his affair with Graham. I read a biography about his editor, Max Perkins and about his take on Fitzgerald\u2019s relationships with Zelda and Graham. I was so steeped in Fitzgerald and his screwed up life that the mere idea of meeting Graham prompted me to pull out all my Fitzgerald material and thumb through it again. I think Rob and I even watched Beloved Infidel<\/em> again, the movie based on Graham\u2019s book about her three and a half years with Fitzgerald.\u00a0 In the movie, Gregory Peck played Fitzgerald and Deborah Kerr played Graham.<\/p>\n

So one morning in November 1988, we drove north to Palm Beach, to a condo or apartment complex, I can\u2019 recall which \u2013 hey, this was 23 years ago – where Graham lived. We had made the appointment through a woman who worked for her. I got the impression that the woman was an assistant.<\/p>\n

But when we entered the apartment, I realized the woman was her caretaker, a nurse or nurse\u2019s aid. Graham was 84 years old, a small, frail woman in a wheelchair, her hair totally white, her glasses thick, riding low on the bridge of her nose. But there was nothing wrong with her mind, her memories. We had a lot of questions and she had the answers.<\/p>\n

Graham met Fitzgerald in the summer of 1937, when she was writing her celebrity column, Hollywood Today<\/em>, which she wrote for 35 years. She claims in her books \u2013 and when we talked to her \u2013 that they fell in love instantly. At the time, Fitzgerald was still married to Zelda, who was institutionalized, and was writing for Hollywood to pay for Zelda\u2019s hospital bills and his daughter\u2019s school bills. They lived together – he,\u00a0 Sheila, and Fitzgerald\u2019s alcoholism were constant companions.<\/p>\n

During our conversation with her, she showed us a few pictures she had of herself and Fitzgerald, and said that other photo albums and letters were being sent to her, that we would have all of it at our disposal. The pictures were faded to sepia tones, but showed Fitzgerald as a kind of dapper Gatsby, and Sheila pretty much as she looks in this photo:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I asked her about the feud between Hemingway and Fitzgerald. It\u2019s alluded to in Woody Allen\u2019s Midnight in Paris<\/em>, where Hemingway expresses his dislike for Zelda. Sheila mentioned it and said that Fitzgerald always felt inferior to Hemingway. This has always struck me as ridiculous.\u00a0 Fitzgerald was the better writer, with the soul of a poet possessed of the ability to delve emotionally into his characters\u2019 lives, even into those dark pockets where all the demons live. Hemingway, I think, was a closet misogynist, Mr. Macho Man \u2013 I hunt, I kill, I take trophies, and \u2013 bottom line \u2013 I don\u2019t like women very much.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

I remember that Sheila\u2019s living room smelled of sickness, a faintly floral aroma that isn\u2019t at all pleasant. It reminded me she was 84, at her Uranus return, an astrological cycle where that\u00a0 planet returns\u00a0 to where it was when you were born. It\u2019s the age of sudden death – metaphorically or actually \u2013 where you either accept where and who you are or choose to pass on.<\/p>\n

Many years later, I asked Hemingway\u2019s niece, Hilary, about Fitzgerald and Uncle Ernie. She didn\u2019t know either man, but since she and Andy Garcia have written a script about Hemingway\u2019s final days in Cuba, she has access to all the family files and memorabilia. \u201cI just want to be done with him,\u201d she said. \u201cI don\u2019t care who was the better writer. That was decades ago. I\u2019m living my own life.\u201d<\/p>\n

And so, apparently, was Sheila Graham. Several days after we met with her, she died of congestive heart failure.<\/p>\n

See what happens when you meditate?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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