Many of us who have devoured the Seth books or the Abraham-Hicks material, The Secret, or other sources of higher knowledge are convinced that we create our realities. Okay, fair enough, but then the question arises: Do we also create our illnesses as part of our realities? I began thinking about that question after receiving an e-mail recently from someone who I’ve always associated with ‘New Age’ beliefs, who said that she rejected the idea. She told me that she would never consciously or unconsciously create her debilitating condition.
That led me to thinking about my own condition. I agree with her that of course we don’t consciously create illnesses, but illnesses can and probably do develop out of our unresolved inner issues.
In my case, I would never consciously create circumstances leading to my being catheterized over and over again, as happened to me this year when I developed urinary retention from an enlarged prostate and could no longer empty my bladder. In fact, ever since I was young, just the idea of getting catheterized made me shiver. That was a reality I definitely did not want to create. Yet, it happened.
Over the months, while dealing with this issue, I tried to avoid surgery. Instead, I took prescribed medications and worked with two healers – one in Wales, one in Scotland. The urologist who prescribed the medications told me I needed the surgery. The healers, meanwhile, told me that I needed to find the core issue involved, and they both independently said it was related to ancestors. That was interesting, especially since I had been led to Eugenie, the healer in Scotland, the home of my ancestors.
Jane Clifford, the healer in Wales, thought the core issue might be fear, guilt, and shame. But that didn’t feel right, except for the fear part that I related to our financial downturn as the publishing industry underwent a digital revolution, ending the way things used to be—that being nice advances to write books.
In spite of working with the two healers and even undergoing a healing session with a Q’ero Indian shaman from Peru, nothing seemed to improve. So finally, on Aug. 28, I conceded the urologist was right and had prostate surgery. End of story, right?
Wrong.
Usually after such surgery, the healing occurs within 2-3 days and after that it’s like you never had the problem. But not for me. Five days after the surgery, the post-surgery catheter was removed and that night I ended up in the emergency room with the exact same symptoms, and a week later it only got worse. I came down with a severe urinary tract infection that was causing me to double over in pain any time I even attempted to pee. So back to the doctor and another catheter and antibiotics.
Then, three weeks after the surgery, I had another appointment with the urologist to remove the catheter again. This time, if it didn’t work, I was facing the possibility of a second surgery.
One hour before the appointment, I noticed an e-mail from Jane from earlier in the week that I hadn’t read. In it, she suggested the problem might continue, in spite of the surgery, until I worked out whatever was at the heart of the matter. She also said that healing could come to me in a flash if I was able to resolve the issue.
Within minutes of reading that comment, it hit me. I knew exactly what it was – anger from the past. From time to time, I’ve had spells of inner rage about matters from long ago in which I felt an injustice had been perpetrated against me. These incidents happened spontaneously, out of the blue, one of them occurring when Trish and I were in Orlando last week visiting daughter Megan. Trish was telling some story as the three of us were driving across town, and suddenly I was immersed in inner rage about something totally different that occurred 20 some years ago. Of course, neither Trish nor Megan knew what was going on with me and I said nothing about it.
As soon as I had that realization on the morning of the appointment, I began sending out forgiveness to everyone who ever offended me and asking forgiveness to those I offended, repeating the Ho’oponopono mantra over and over. ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love, thank you.’ I said it all the way to the doctor’s office.
A short time later, the catheter came out and – synchronicity – I was normal again, a great blessing. It’s strange to rejoice about such a thing that most of us take for granted, but when you’ve been through what I’ve experienced, it’s the only way to react. I’ve also thought about my ancestors and their role.
The MacGregor clan had tough times in the 17th and 18th centuries. They were driven from the Highlands, some became slaves in Jamaica. The clan was banned and for 150 years, no one could use the name MacGregor and many of my ancestors apparently took their anger to the grave. According to Jane – I was the one who absorbed it, and I was the one who could resolve it.
Incredibly, while all this was being played out, someone from my past, who I haven’t seen in more that 40 years, put a photo on my Facebook page of the gravestone of Rob Roy MacGregor, my Scottish namesake. I looked closely and noticed the epitaph: ‘Despite them.’ That’s not as harsh as ‘Despise them,’ but it does invoke a sense of anger. So it was my anger and theirs that I was supposedly dealing with – a complicated scenario – and hopefully things now are being resolved for all who are or were involved. Meanwhile, I have to say it: I’m just going with the flow.
Darren, my “take” on it is that before we are born into an incarnation, our souls create a design; we draw up a blueprint, for lack of a better description, with the help of our Teachers and Guides who are There. I think we do this after reviewing all our past life experiences, and determine which lessons we need to attend in the upcoming life. It seems to me that certain of the experiences in our blueprints are etched in stone and those experiences will happen, regardless, while other experiences are “penciled in”, if you will, and when the time and experience come together, we make a superconscious choice whether to have the experience or not. In my thinking, these are relative to various kinds of karmic issues, and occasionally an illness will be the way we choose to resolve whatever a particular karmic situation might be, so resistance to healing occurs. Of course this is just my own thoughts on it, but for me, it makes sense. Regarding the ancestral connection to ailments, I’m reminded of the biblical reference that states, and I paraphrase, that “the sins of the fathers will be visited upon the children, etc.” Maybe that’s what that biblical statement means. I personally disagree wholeheatedly with the Christian conviction that their God punishes His children and makes them suffer. That just doesn’t work for me, as it doesn’t work for you. That simply doesn’t resonate as true for me, either.
There is a Shinto belief that we all have a circle of spirits (ancestors) like a halo behind our heads. Of course we like to think of them as beneficial, spirit guides we can call on for assistance. But it could be that we inherit certain behavior patterns from such ancestors that we need to deal with, just as we pick up traits from our closest ancestors, our parents.
I’ve been thinking along similar lines since my surgery last year. Like you I believe our thoughts, words, actions help to create our reality – and therefore our illnesses. I realise many won’t want to agree with this. I look at it this way: if we suppress our negative emotions: anger, jealousy, hate, even sadness and other unresolved issues etc these get stored within our bodies and can build up to cause disease (dis-ease). But I’ve never thought about ancestors and their role – that’s interesting.
In the Science of Mind Ernest Holmes doesn’t mentions prostate problems but does talk about bladder trouble: “… remove any sense of inner irritation or agitation.”
His meditation includes: “… no waste substance is allowed to remain in the system. The joyous, free flow of life and spirit is now active through me, cleansing my mind from all impurities, in thought and flesh … spirit flows through me and is never obstructed by anything …” and so on.
It’s similar to the problem with my kidney. They work to eliminate the poisons of the body but if we have those negative thoughts or beliefs we are pouring into out body poisons in the making.
But, whatever, glad to read that everything is back on track with you and thanks for writing this post – very helpful.
This story reminded me of a guided meditation I listened to, years ago – and the encouragement to send the light/love/healing (I don’t remember that verbiage) “IN ALL DIRECTIONS OF TIME”
That has always stuck with me, and helped me clarify what I feel is my presence in the 4th dimension of Time and Space – in my family – on planet earth. I’ve done some research on how each generation builds on the previous ancestors. Like my husband is 1st generation from WWII refuge camps, my business partner is 4th from slavery, where as I’m like 6th or 7th from a potato famine migration. And my opinion is that “The Secret” of heal thy-self includes a choice of “The Buck Stops Here” for our ancestral issues as well.
Whether it is cellular, reincarnated, or heredity – an issue can me be claimed and healed in All Directions of Time.
Good Health for You, and Rob Roy is now resting in peace. 😀
I have also read Weiss’s “Many Lives, Many Masters” book more than once. It may even have been his guided meditation. The other one that comes to mind is Doreen Virtue and her angel meditations.
Thanks for sharing your very moving story, Rob. I am so happy you are finally feeling better and are passing this very important message on to the rest of us. I immediately started thinking about all of my unresolved issues as I, too, have a surgical procedure I must do week after next. These things always come out of the blue and the punch is usually powerful. But if you are aware of how things work, there is always a siver lining. Sometimes we go through bad things in order to move us forward in some way. My brain surgery 25 years ago gave me a big push onto my spiritual path. I’ve always been grateful. And if you can cure an anger that runs deep in your ancestral roots, then I would say you are your family’s healer. What a rare thing – to be the healer of your clan.
There is another wonderful, available source of healing for us…..those discarnate Healers who wait for us to call upon them for assistance. I have a very serious life-threatening heart ailment, and whenever an episode occurs which has the capacity
to “take me out”, I’m not hesitant to call upon these Healing Spirits. Time after time after time, they have answered my call, and have restored my heart to a normal
state of being. I am grateful beyond expression for their love and assistance and healing energy, and I know that it is available for ANYONE who calls upon them.
I’m not saying it always will “cure” the probblem, but just their Presence in and of itself is very comforting and healing.
@2born
I have no doubt that there are spirits who look out for people.I have been saved a few times throughout my life by some entity (I have no idea who or what) from what should have been certain death and I’m not a religious person (although I do believe in a higher power and life after death). I often wonder why I was saved,as I don’t see myself as anyone special in life,no more than the next person.But it puzzles me that these entities will look after someone like me,but let others who are innocent be maimed,slaughtered,raped and killed every day of the week,or die in agony from some terrible disease.I don’t say that you can’t be healed by positive thinking or prayer,because I know you can be,but not everyone will be.
For some fate doesn’t seem to want to change it’s mind,no matter how hard they believe they can overcome it.I guess what I’m saying is that there are more secrets to life than “The Secret”,or what any book can tell you,but still these books can and do work for some and not others.
Great post Rob,I never knew about the MacGregor clan and what happened to them before reading this post.that would make a good novel too,how a modern MacGregor member comes through all of that history into the modern world of today.
And that thought of telling someone with prostate problems to “Go with the Flow” must sound like hearing fingernails being drawn across a blackboard to the person with a full bladder.Glad to hear that you are feeling flushed with relief that your bladder problems have passed for the time being.-)
“Go with the Flow” sounds like an appropriate title for this journey indeed.
From now on after every trip to the bathroom I can just imagine the cry of “Yip-pee” ending one more successful trip to the water closet for you.-)
Glad to hear you are better Rob.
Here’s to many more healthy years in front of you.
Cheers.
My worst day was my first of four trips to the ER. That one was in a hospital in Orlando. I was in the waiting room for an eternity holding 900 ccs in my bladder, on my hands and knees unable to sit or lie down. As that was happening, everyone in the room, including some staff, were watching the kickoff to the Super Bow. At that point, as you can imagine, I had no interest in that game. And what a relief it was after three hours when they finally stuck that tube in me – doing the dreaded thing – and emptying me out. And that was just the beginning of this year’s journey. It’s been 10 days now since the healing kicked in and I’m going strong, moving ahead, and finishing with the past.
Daz, some of the MacGregors became indentured servants in Jamaica, serving seven-year terms, others were slaves for life. Scotland has had a strong influence on Jamaica, from the lilt in the accent to the numerous Scottish names, including MacGregor. Of course, after numerous generations, those bearing the Scottish names are black Jamaicans.
BTW, my healing is not ‘for the time being,’ it’s forever! 🙂
Wow,I thought this stuff only went on in Australia,where the Irish mainly,plus poor British folk were sent out here for petty crimes to be used as slaves to work on the land and be flogged and starved to death (it’s changed a bit since then.-)
It’s why Australians still hate authority today I guess and maybe why we produced Julian Assange.
But I never knew this at all about clans like the MacGregors,so this post has been doubly informative to me.
What a long & interesting healing journey it was Rob & how much i too learned from it,so wonderful you are now going with the flow, which was not possible for so long until you identified for yourself what was preventing it .
I thank you for the honour of sharing that journey with me & for being so willing to go the distance & keep the faith that it would heal .
Blessings & Love
Jane
so odd to come here today and find this post from you, rob – well, actually, not odd at all – yesterday and today i’d had you on my mind and kept wondering how you were doing – if your medical issues had been resolved etc – and i was thinking of your situation in terms of my own health issues of the recent past – and i could not agree more with your opening concept of our physical ailments being a result of unresolved inner conflict – mainly, for some time i have been giving deeper thought to what actually brought me to the point of ill health i was in when i really was so very ill shortly after my sister’s death – and without going into personal details here, let it suffice to say that i have come to the realization of the real lesson for me in all of this – from this physical ill health – and i know it was to learn to let go of anger – to forgive others – to forgive myself – to be more compassionate – less judgmental/critical – but the words anger and compassion are the key words that keep singing in my head/in my heart of hearts – the simultaneous/other lesson is to trust myself more than ever – when modern medicine – allegedly some of the best on the planet – declared “end stage” something, it was a re-confirmation to look inward for my own answers – to listen to my body and allow my body to listen to me – for me, the end result was that within months of finding my own way without the help of western medicine, my situation was “reversed” – much to the amazement of every doctor i was seeing – and several months ago i was released from care by the major specialist seeing me, with only the need for annual check-ups – now, this is not to say that i denounce all western medicine – i do not – it IS to say that i personally have experienced [more than once] the power of positive thinking – the power of forgiveness of love of others and of myself – and its impact upon my physical body – i realize i’m rambling and hope that even a small part of this makes sense – the other remark i’d like to make is that when this “known ’round the globe” medical facility department head used those words [end stage] to me i sat him and his PA down and told them all about the use of negative language to/about patients and how detrimental it was to healing – and that such language could not be used toward/about me – if that was his M.O. with patients, then, he was the wrong doctor for me and that by even “thinking” that about me, he was not working toward healing me – he’s an older “old school” specialist whose name resounds in every medical school/facility on the planet – but he was not the doctor for me and i quit seeing him when, on the third visit, i still had to remind him of his role/my role in my healing – i left there and never looked back – and the final final thing i wanted to add is that i am not saying that what has worked for me in my own experiences is what will work for someone else – i think we do each have to find our own individual answers from within – sometimes western medicine is the answer – sometimes it is not – sometimes it’s a combination of things – but for me, the role of our spirit [knowledge/understanding/ability to heal our body] – our real “us” – cannot be overstated –
many thanks for sharing your personal journey here –
“Free-Flowing” is a wonderful gift! Thank goodness you are enjoying that again, Rob!
In my mind, I seem to have come to a space where I am on the precipice of believing that as long as we inhabit a physical vehicle, we really have no single answer or explanation for these events that touch each of us, especially illnesses. We only have the theories, ideas, hypotheses, ideologies, etc, of many different, often highly qualified folks who help us form what for each of us becomes our individual truths. Many of these folks are incarnate; some of them, such as Seth and Abraham, are discarnates speaking to us through channels. And we accept what resonates within our own hearts and souls as our reality. This is as it should be, because it is by reaching for answers, that perhaps we will ultimately learn. And truth seems to be a very subjective aspect, which also is good and as it should be, because it is by our subjective thoughts that we are propelled to continue to strive. I deeply appreciate this post, Rob, and even more, your willingness to share such an intimate subject with all of us. Thank you. As Mr. Spock always said, “BE WELL AND PROSPER”.
Thanks. For a long time, I didn’t think I would write about this subject, especially after I conceded that alternative healing methods had not worked and I would need surgery. But considering what happened in the aftermath of the surgery, how the surgery was almost ineffective, I decided I needed to think more deeply about this matter, and by writing about it, I would do so.
I’m so sorry to hear that you had to suffer this, and the story you tell is amazing. The idea of carrying not only a personal trauma, but a tribal or familial trauma is fascinating…….thank you for sharing this hopeful story.
I’ve always had ambiguity about the “create your own reality” idea, although I do agree that states of mind, conscious and unconscious, can certainly affect our health, and there may indeed be soul purpose in the limitations they impose. But I also find the Secret, or Louise Hayes, can be interpreted in ways that cause a great deal of suffering. In the 80’s I remember gay friends struggling to come to grips with the AIDS that was killing them, and feeling that they “couldn’t think themselves well” only contributed to the guilt and despair they felt.
Anyway, I’m so glad you are on the mend!
I’m with you on your comment Lauren.
While there is some good info in books like “The Secret”
(I have a copy on my bookshelf which has been read as well) I find it is too simplistic on a cosmic level and life is a little more complex than just our own little egos steering the ship.
I think the last thing any dying or sick person needs is some reader of
“The Secret” telling them how life is as easy as wishing on a star to make things all better in their life.
I often have a vision in these situations where the sick person pulls out a gun,shoots the person in the foot and says,good theory,now show me how it is done.”Physician,heal thyself ” .-)
Yes,I do have a sick sense of humour ,but I think you’ll get my point in that joke that practical reality is a little different to theory,no matter how good the intention may be from the person giving the advice,it is always a little different when the shoe is on the other foot…so to speak.-)
Daz – I don’t think it’s as easy as “wishing on a star.” I think it’s about really intense focus, a clear intention, and that nothing short of what you want will come to you.
Your brother’s situation reminds me of Brian Weiss’s story about the death of his infant son that set him on the course for which he’s known. He explains it really well in Many Lives, Many Masters. From what I recall of the book,
the boy was born with a messed up heart, and died within a few days. Years later, Weiss regressed a woman with anxiety problems. Through her, he discovered that the death of his infant son was a situation that the boy,
Weiss, his wife, had all accepted in between lives so that each of them would learn specific things, so Weiss would embark on his reincarnational research, and so that something fro the past would be resolved. It also reminds me
of some cases that Carol Bowman is now investigating. The implication is that the soul has free will and we, in our conscious, waking lives, may not be able to grasp what the soul’s intent and purpose are.
The doctors told my parents that my brother wouldn’t last a year,but he is now 50+ and going strong (but who knows how strong he is on the inside…like any of us,I guess) dad’s in his late 80s and mum’s in her late 70s,a cancer survivor and still changing poopy nappies everyday.I can’t even go visit them without fear of him breaking the peace with one of his terrible tantrums and smashing the place up.The thing is neither one of them wants to place him in a care facility and they refuse to even discuss it. The odds are that he will outlive them both and I’ll have to place him in a home.
I pray he will pass away in his sleep peacefully one night and the years of burden will be lifted from their shoulders for their last remaining years on earth,but I don’t see this happening to tell the truth,but it is no good trying to second guess the future,you just have to see what cards are going to be delt and play them as they are presented I guess.That’s life.
My first editor died of AIDS and struggled with these issues. I think Chris knew, though, that it wasn’t as simple as thinking himself well. When the mass consensus belief is stacked against you, as it was in the 80s, it’s a mighty big wall you must knock down. With him, I think
that after his partner died, he had little incentive to stick around.
Rob,
This is something i have been pondering about for awhile. It goes to the core of us physically. DNA and the idea of genetic memory.
There has been esoteric thought that we not only have our experiential memory but inside us, some how, memory of ancestoral lineage / tribal lineage / race lineage. From direct parents history stretching back millenia as a society gets organized.
Your comments made me remember to use the term surrender, forgiveness, gratefulness in being made aware again that we really are more then what we see / show to the world.
Be well
Laurence
Laurence,have you read the book ‘Supernatural’ by Graham Hancock ?
I highly recommend this book.He has a similar theory about DNA and feels that the 97 % of our so called “junk” DNA is some sort of cosmic USB stick and that when people use hallucinogens it unlocks these trips that seem to have universal themes to all humans on the planet.His theory is that the brain is more of a cosmic receiver than just a storage organ and that when the information in the DNA is accessed through hallucinogens,stress,trauma,rhythmic drumming and/or dancing,or religious experiences,it sets up these meetings with beginnings that seem to be operating in a different time dimension than ours but who can interact with us and our world on some level,even to the point of placing solid implants into our bodies and being able to psychically manifest to some degree into our so called “solid” world as beings,whether human like or in animal form.
Hancock sure is doing some groundbreaking work in this field by using himself as his own guinea pig in these hallucinogenic and shamanic journeys through the “mind”.
Darren,
I am on it! Read afew of his other books, deeply interested in Bradford Keeney’s work with shaking medicine/ bushman rituals.
Will come back to this after i read supernaturals. Btw, was so blown away by altered states , the movie, i got the book, it really resonated with me.
Be well
Laurence
This is a brave and powerful post, Rob! It’s given me a great deal to think about. I’ve been immersed in Carl Jung lately, trying to really understand his teachings about the unconscious and its seemingly autonomous capability to impact a person’s life. I think you’ve just clarified it for me and given me an example of how to access and relate to what might be tripping me up. And I love Ho’oponopono. May your healing be complete.
This concept troubles me deeply and raises many questions in my mind. I think of newborn babies who are born with horrible situations, such as internal organs being on the outside of their bodies; multiple heart defects, diseases such as cystic fibrosis and other ailments present at birth, and this challenges the concept that “predestination” doesn’t exist, which most New Age people, (and I am not a New Age person) , don’t believe exists. It would indicate the the Soul has determined, prior to coming into a physical body, that it’s going to have these ailments coming in. I tend to think this concept that “on some level we each create our illnesses” depends upon one’s belief construct and whether we accept that free will and choice is always
at the core of everything in our lives, from before we are born until after we die. As with all things, I tend to think there are exceptions to the “rule”, if such a rule does indeed exist. For me, it isn’t a blanket explantion for all ailments with all persons.
For me, each circumstance and each individul is different. In any case, Rob, I am glad that your own suffering has been relieved, by whatever means!!
My older brother was born like that and had to have an operation when he was born to make him function as a male.My mother often told that me in the sixties they usually wrote on a blackboard at the hospital what the sex of the child was and for him it was a question mark only.If I had not had an out of body experience at around 11 I’m sure I would be a committed atheist by now.I know there is more to life,but when I see the suffering an individual like my brother brings to a whole family and ruins the lives of all the family members to some degree I often wonder what sort of sadistic god is in charge up there.This is why I can never believe in a Jewish /Christian God who gives you only one crack at life before going to heaven or hell,and why I swing towards the idea of reincarnation and Buddhism. My anger runs deep towards what my brother’s birth has done to my family and there are days where I truly curse whatever god allows these things to happen,and not just about my brother either.
But the irony is that I have enjoyed perfect health for my 49 years on this planet…touch wood. There are days where I can be bitterly angry at the world and God,but it has never effected my health.I have not even spent a night in hospital in all my years on this earth,so I must be doing something right to deflect all that anger away from harming my health if the theory is we create or own illness.I’m not saying that we can’t make ourselves sick,because the mind is a very powerful thing and I’m sure we can easily think our way to sickness or health with it on some occasions,but to say that all illness is created by the individual who is afflicted by it is a rather simplistic and naive theory to me,which I refuse to buy into.
Hi Rob,
Thank you for sharing such an interesting and intimate story. I think it is a rare man who would be as open about this as you have. Fascinating, heart felt and heart warming.
“Going with the flow.”
XOX,
Adele
Hey, The Flow may prove to be as powerful as The Force.