Jewel in the Lotus

My new book on meditation, The Jewel in the Lotus: Meditation for Busy Minds, is out as an e-book, and will be coming out in print in a few weeks. Here’s an excerpt, a spiel about non-attachment.

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Non-Attachment

Maybe you’ve heard about meditation teachers who say visualization is just another way of thinking, that it’s not true meditation. I’ve heard that, too, many times. Those same teachers might tell you to focus on letting go of attachments and seeking a state of nothingness. If you try that, you might find yourself floating in a void during your meditation. That can be pleasant, but it’s actually another form of visualization—visualizing nothing.

Buddhists are great promoters of non-attachment. It’s one of the central themes of the religion. That’s fine if your focus is on detaching yourself from obsessive behavior related to people or things. But how far do you take that concept? Being non-attached to your children, for example, is probably a bad idea, one that could cause you to lose your children. In other words, there’s a fine line between being non-attached and uncaring.

Some Buddhists say that happiness is not a viable goal of meditation, that happiness is a passing condition and an attachment. But so is unhappiness, and it seems there are plenty of unhappy Buddhists, weary of the world and all of its everyday attachments. As a result, casual observers tend to profile the Zen crowd as meditators who look on the world with a scowl and a sense of disgust about anything that hints of attachments. Insiders, however, will tell you that they are not unhappy. It’s just that they don’t ignore painful matters. In fact, they feel the way to deal with pain and difficulties is by focusing on such issues rather than running away from them.

My perspective is that it’s better to meditate on what you want, imagining that you already have it, than to focus on what’s lacking in your life. That only attracts more of the same. Sure, being preoccupied with material goods can drag us down and divert us from our spiritual quest. But having a dream, seeking abundance and other positive goals through visualization and affirmations should never be considered detrimental.

Wealth and prosperity are states of mind that are usually augured by money. Yes, money allows us to accumulate stuff, and possessing more objects is not a sure-fire pathway to inner peace and happiness. Certainly, there are people with lots of money who are unhappy, and there are people who misuse money and look only to possessions for meaning in their lives.

Of course, there are plenty of people without money who are bitterly unhappy. But happiness comes from within, not from the size of your bank account or the number of toys in your possession. Abundance is more than financial security. It’s about living in the present moment and experiencing life to its fullest. After all, we are here in the physical world to feel and experience. If we think of ourselves essentially as spirits engaged in physical existence, then we can engage in life with a renewed interest and learn from our experiences, all the while knowing that it’s transitory and our true home is the spirit realm.

I’m all for releasing attachments, such as negative emotional patterns that hold us back. But there’s also value in pursuing goals through directed meditations. They not only provide structure that many beginning meditators need, but they work.

However, before we move into the directed meditations, let’s briefly explore a meditation about true non-attachment. Our typical idea of non-attachment might be giving away all your possessions, leaving your home and family, maybe keeping a robe, sandals and a begging bowl. This is possible, though not prudent, especially in the Western World. True non-attachment, while impossible in the physical world, can be explored in meditation. Here’s how:

Letting Go

Move into a comfortable position and take a few deep breaths. Scan your body, relaxing as you go. Settle in, slowing your breath.

Now start to let go of your identity. Begin with your name. Let it go. Imagine not having a name, or any role. Let go of all of your titles and roles: ie. mother, father, son, daughter, your career or job title, your qualifications, your history. Let it all go.

Let go of your religion, your race and nationality. Let go of your language. Let go of your gender. Let go of your body. How does it feel to be neither male or female. No name, gender, role, title, race, nationality, language. No body, merely a spark of awareness, exploring the unknown, touching upon the unknowable.

How do you feel? You’re free, peaceful, immortal and eternal. You’re connecting to your original self, linked to your creator, merging with higher awareness.

M-E-D-I-T-A-T-E

That’s true non-attachment. It’s worth exploring those ideas and feelings so you can face any fears of the unknown, of losing all that you are. In doing so, you connect with your deeper, eternal self, where you recognize that your physical life is but a blip. Yet, it’s an important one where you face challenges and opportunities to expand your awareness.