
When we were in Baños, Ecuador some years ago, we went into a small church where one wall was filled with candles that people had lit for loved ones who had passed on. We lit candles for both of my parents, for Rob’s dad, and for friends we had lost over the years. The idea, at least in my mind, is that the illumination helps the departed make their way through the afterlife. It’s a beacon of hope, a message from the living to the dead that they are not forgotten. It’s a statement of belief that the power of light is greater than the power of darkness.
Over the years, I have grown into the habit of lighting candles not only for people who have passed but for pets – my own and those of friends. If I had 26 candles, I would light them all, one for each child and adult who lost their lives in Connecticut. Instead, I lit my big Yankee candle. Interestingly, it shows geese flying across the face of a full moon and is called Moon on Their Wings, a rather apt phrase for the loss of 20 innocent children and 6 adults, all women.
New details about the massacre are emerging, including the fact that the shooter’s mother didn’t work at the elementary school, as previously reported, and that she was an avid gun collector. She used to take both her sons to the shooting range. No motive has yet been found for why Adam Lanza did what he did. But at this point, his motive seems irrelevant. What’s done is done.
And beyond motives and details, the fact remains that a small, tightly knit community has suffered irreparable loss and tragedy.
I can’t begin to comprehend how any parent copes with the loss of a child. I can’t begin to understand what the families of these youngsters, all between the ages of six and seven, are going through. I don’t understand how anyone can heal from something like this. The Christmas holidays will be forever tainted for their families. Rob and I were talking today about how we hoped there were helpers on the other side who were immediately there for these kids when they died.
“That’s the work the Fids is probably doing,” he said.
The Fids is a nickname for our friend Richard Demian, a psychic with whom we first connected when he wrote Rob a fan letter about his divination book, The Rainbow Oracle. Fids straddled two worlds – that of the living and of the dead – and the last time we saw him was in Central Park, near the Imagine tribute to John Lennon.

Not long afterward, Fids died suddenly of a heart attack. He was in his early forties. Helping children to cross over is something Fids would do.
Robert Monroe, author of Journeys Out of the Body and several other books, and the visionary who started the Monroe Institute in Virginia, wrote movingly of one OBE he had where he found himself next to a young man who had just been hit by a car. The young man was standing over his dead body, confused and scared. Monroe offered to help him get to wherever he was supposed to be, took his hand, and they began moving away from his body. It’s how I imagine Fids and other helpers in the afterlife dealing with these young children as they passed.
The problem for us, the living, is that none of us know for sure what’s true or not true about what happens when we die. We have beliefs that tell us one thing or another, we have convictions. But all we actually know for sure is that death is inevitable. Yet, if death is a state of transition, simply a different form of consciousness, then perhaps if we in the virtual world create a circle of light around these children and the adults who died in this travesty, they will see the illumination.
And because light is more powerful than darkness, because light exposes darkness and strips away its secrets, maybe this horror will prove to be the tipping point for gun violence in America. Our candle is lit. Please join us.









At any rate, the engine was shot and we got the car towed to our local garage. Once I learned that insurance would pay for a new engine, I finally got to that little AT&T store just as they were closing. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” the young man said. “Can you come back tomorrow?”







