With this new book, we’ve divided the chapters according to our interests and expertise, and then trade chapters and edit and add to each other’s stuff. We haven’t reached the trade chapters segment of this process yet. Right now, I, Trish, am working on the Animals Attuned chapter, which is about how animals often act as vehicles for spirit contact. In some ways, writing this chapter is an excavation, where I uncover experiences that happened long ago, but which remain so vivid in my memory it’s as if they happened yesterday. And this memory is about a one-eyed Himalayan cat I adopted from the animal control center in Tallahassee, Florida, when I was in graduate school.
I named him Demian, after the Herman Hesse book. He moved all over Florida with me. He endured my prepublication rants, rejoiced the day my first short story was purchased, celebrated with Rob and me when my first novel was bought in 1983. He was my feline buddy, he always had my back. Even on our road trips, he perched on the top of my seat in the car, his body spread out so that at least one of his paws rested against my shoulder.
When Rob and I got married, he and Demian were the only males in our household. Demian would sit in Rob’s lap as he wrote, would sleep on Rob’s side of the bed at night, would settle in his lap whenever he could. Rob nicknamed his Doolittle. He loved having another male in the house.
Around the time Doolittle hit fourteen, he developed kidney problems. The vet said we could opt for dialysis until a kidney became available, and that the transplant would have to take place in Atlanta, at a facility that did them. We brought Doolittle home, babied him for a few days, discussed our options. In the end, we didn’t want to subject him to all these medical procures and returned to the vet’s for the final injection.
Anyone who has owned a pet they have had to put down knows what this is like. There’s a moment when your beloved pet looks at you, stretches a paw to touch your arm, licks the back of your hand, locks eyes with you, and you know that he knows. You feel his consciousness touching yours and you’re choked up and want to scream, Stop the IV, stop this, stop this. But you don’t say a word. The animal makes some small, final sound. Sometimes you see the soul as it leaves the body, a pale wisp like smoke. Sometimes you just feel the soul’s departure. That’s how it was with Doolittle.
We buried him on the condo property somewhere, in a little shoebox. And here’s where it gets strange and wonderful. About four months after his death, I dreamed that I went downstairs into the kitchen to find something to eat, and Doolittle was at his bowl, chowing down. “Doolittle,” I exclaimed in the dream. “What’re you doing here? You’re dead.”
He raised his head and regarded me with that single clear blue eye. “Not really. And I’m coming back. You’ll know me.”
He was telling me that he was moving on, returning, preparing himself for whatever would come next in his scheme of things.
The next day, I scoured the newspaper for a kitten for sale. I took the dream Demian at his word, figured the rebirth had happened immediately, and came home with a beautiful tabby female kitten who was with us for a decade. But she was not Demian. He had lost his left eye before I adopted him, a cat fight, one vet said, where a claw had penetrated the retina and rendered him blind in that eye, which was there but covered with scar tissue that turned his eye a milky white.
Skip ahead several years. Megan is seven or eight. A friend has a Golden Retriever that needs a home. We adopt Jessie. I take her to the vet for her shots. The vet says, Your dog has scar tissue of some sort in her left eye. It doesn’t affect her vision, it’s just there and you should be aware of it. Physical evidence that goes from life to life is well documented in humans. There’s nothing about it in relation to animals. But I knew. I felt it. Jessie was Doolittle. We had her for eleven great years. In all, this animal soul was with us for 25 years. Every time I feed a stray cat or dog or bird, I ask, first, Hey, Doo, is it you?
I’m still waiting for a definitive answer. A bark, a meow, a tweet, a voice.
I uploaded this comment today into the comments section of the
"John and the Wild Parrots" post,but also thought it belonged as a comment here,too.
My In-laws have a small Silky Terrier who was well looked after by my Father-in-law when he was alive.He was also the dog's disciplinarian.After he died the dog has been acting lost and obviously missing him.The one thing the dog always used to do was walk up the back stairs to come up into the house,but since he died she will only come up to the top step and no further.No matter what we tried (even lining the steps with dog treats all the way into the house,she would still only go to the top step and then turn back and go down again).
Today though,his ashes were brought home to go into a spot in my Mother-in-Laws garden.Well,the dog led the way up the back stairs and into the house like there has never been a problem at all,and the strange behavior with the stairs has stopped.
It's like (to her) that he has just returned home from a journey and has been away since the day he died.
Well,that's the way it appears to us by the dog's unusual behavior patterns,anyway.
yes, sweet strength to sunshine, cj!
trish, had meant to mention that my son just "adopted" another little kitty [about 8 weeks old] – one who was living under the house of a neighbor – his last lady cat, named august, he loved like his child – in any event, he is beside himself now with his new "baby" whom he named molly! his face just lights up when he holds her – i got to see her in person for the first time today – just beautiful – a calico – and the most incredible eyes ever!!!
nat – thanks for the clarification!
Cj – sending strength to sunshine.
Thank you again, Guys. She isn't old, only 8, and the normal life Lab life span is about 15 or so. When our beloved pets get suddenly sick and we must make that terrible, dreadful decision, it's awful. But when they develop a longer terminal illness and go down in stages, it's so devastating to know that soon we will be without her physical presence. Our vet, Dr. Deb, has told me that she'll keep a close watch on Sunshine and will tell me when I need to let her rest. She still has quality of life. It's just knowing that the time is approaching that makes it unspeakably hard. I have the certain conviction, though, that as I said earlier, Sunshine will be one of my guardians and guides and protectors on the Other Side just as she guards and guides and protects me here. She's not quite sure how to behave since I released her from her service canine duties, and she is having to learn to simply BE a normal dog. As a trained working dog, this kind of transition for her is almost impossible because she continues to want to do her job, and isn't able. I keep telling myself, and her, that "this, too, shall pass". WV: encensd "sense end"? cj
CJ, this is so sad. I'm sorry she's ailing.
Thank you, T & R. My Sunshine still eats, still tries to play "fetch the bone" with daddy, still tries to roll on her back and windmill those legs in the air, but she can't. She has begun showing the subtle signs of becoming more and more fragile, more detached from life, just as humans do who are walking her journey. She is withdrawing often into a dark quiet corner. She is sleeping more than she is awake, and I watch her sleep because she dreams, and during her dreams she wags her tail and "grins" that unmistakeable labrador grin, moves her feet and makes happy, gronky doggie noises. I think in her dreams she's a puppy running and filled with the joys of the chase. She has great difficulty getting up from her bed now and whines when she moves. She comes to me and lays her velvet chin on my knee and stares into my eyes for long periods of time as if she is saying, "I have to go soon. I feel your pain. I know you are feeling mine. I know you love me too much to allow me to suffer. I trust you". And through my tears I have no choice but to promise her that when she tells me it's time to let her go, I'll somehow find the strength to release her. I tell her that when I cross that bridge, we'll run and play together again. She'll be waiting. I know she will.
Connie
Can relate to this post, as I know that Blossom is Tarmie/Tarmie is Blossom…….. ♥
Staffordshire Terrier ~ Little fellas who are a bit close to the ground. 🙂
I figure that when we pass, all these cool animals will be clustered around us. Cole – not sure how the WVs work. But frequently, they're synchros in and of themselves.
Wonderful story! I believe it was Dolittle. How strange the scar tissue. I would take that as an absolute sign. I wonder from time to time about animals. The way certain animals capture your eyes when you make eye contact with them. Almost like they see right through you and are waiting for you to recognize them. I definitely believe there is something more after we pass. Maybe there's hope I will see my childhood dog some day, I miss her.
wv: spatopet ? I have no idea what this means -just thought it was weird that it had the word (pet) in it. How does this word verification thing work anyway, is it just random letters that get pulled up. Weird!
Thanks, Connie. I figured it was some kind of small dog, but wanted to be sure. I hope Sunshine hasn't taken a turn for the worse!
Trish and Rob, if I'm not mistaken, I think a "staffie" is a nickname for a Staffordshire Terrier. I could be wrong but I've heard them called staffies. They are not large dogs, so crossing a fence could be difficult for the little fellow. Because of the circumstances coming up with my Sunshine, I've not been able to comment today and still can't, but I have no doubt your Doo will come back to you. Completely off-subject, I saw a commercial while ago that "V" will be back on TV on Tuesday, January 4, apparently new episodes.
cj
Thanks Rob for your feedback. I think you're right about the past life thing. It's interesting how these people crop into your current life.
Hi Dreamwoman, Hm, maybe he will reappear in your life, but more likely he's someone from a past life just passing by, giving you a brief nod that triggered an unconscious memory. In that case, he's probably not meant for you this lifetime.
– R
If anyone can provide insight into the following, I'd be grateful:
re: synchro cluster around the name Damian (or Demian).
to make a long story short, I met a man named Damian
2 1/2 years ago and even though he's not in my life (we're not even in contact as it hasn't gotten to that point; who knows if it ever will)
I've seen him 3x in the past 2 1/2 years and while we've had conversations with flirting, it hasn't taken off. Of course my friends tell me to move on, he's into you. I tell myself the same thing, yet I think about him and I've had a number of dreams with him in it, including some interesting messages he's told me in one of them.
In the past 2 1/2 years, I've seen the name Damian pop up in places (and it's not a common name either) as well as the city where he lives. (we live 1,000 miles apart to complicate the mix)
Not to mention I really don't know him or the details of his personal situation. (yeah, I question my sanity with this)
Does this mean this man is a part of my destiny down the road? I know we have choices which affect our destiny and I am open to other options as well. But there are times when this synchro cluster boggles my mind. Seeing this blog today makes me chuckle too at the synchros.
Thanks for reading.
Darren – that's an incredible synchro. I think ole sylvester may have been saying he was still around.
I had a black and white cat named Sylvester,who was killed on the road outside my house about fifteen years ago.He always liked to sleep on the road,so it wasn't that much of a surprise that he would meet his fate that way.
Here's the strange part of the story though.The lady who hit him was rather distraught and had placed his body on the footpath,as we were out grocery shopping that evening,and weren't home and since it was rather late when we came home,I decided to put his body in a box and bury him the next day.
Next morning I got my shovel out and began to dig in my back yard,but the ground was so solid that I couldn't dig anymore than about 6 inches before hitting rock,so I gathered up his body,put it in my car and headed for the forest a few miles from where I lived at the time.
I was digging a pretty deep hole so wild animals wouldn't dig him up and had the local radio station playing in my car,so I would have some music going while I dug the hole.When I completed the hole I placed him in the bottom of the hole and he looked like he was just sleeping,as the car had only run over his head,but not split it open,so it wasn't a mess like a normal roadkill.Then I said "good-bye old buddy,you dumb cat" or something like that and started shoveling the dirt back over him.
Then on the radio stared playing Peter Gabriel's "Digging in the Dirt" and I was beside myself thinking of all the songs that could possibly come on the radio how appropriate was that one.Whenever I here that song I always think back to that day of digging in the dirt and saying farewell to my little pal.
Here's the clip on YouTube;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5fOvcta3Ws
Natalie – what's a staffy?? Love the animal's name, whatever it was! Cool story, but am eager to know what this animal is.
That is a pearler of a story, guys! I loved it especially because I could feel your connection, Trish.
I did a reading a few months back at a fundraiser, a lady sat down and i told her that I had a powerful energy coming through who was coming to say he loved her and to thank her for loving him.
She asked the person's name, and all I got was 'Frog'.
I asked her was that someone's nickname as she burst into tears.
It turned out that he was a little Staffy who was and quite wild, some friends had given him away because they couldn't care for him. He kept jumping my cliet's fence, hence the name 'Frog'. The trouble was because he was a Staffy, he kept hurting himself trying to get over the top of the fence as it was too high for him really.
My client had cared for him and loved him as much as any human could, and in return he was watching over her from the other side and sent his love through me, which was a very powerful experience. 😀
wv =fratogg at frogg 😀 😀
I love Butternut's japanese take on this. I find the idea of animals as guardian spirits comforting.
Nancy – watch. Kiki will be back now!
Gypsy: a Leo without a cat?! Never…
Dreamwoman: welcome and hope to hear what the demian synchro cluster is about!
yeah but in further thought after reading a comment of 2 it is true and understandable that a human might get a whole lot more connected to an animal that has that habit of standing there and looking at us like what's up pal (dude),, like what seems to happen me with the cannines.. can't go into how a guy like me has effected cats… would tell of Tiger attack synchros but……well
w.v. anolum
This blog made me a bit teary eyed. I love animals and I have been there when it came time to euthanise my cat after 14 years of being with me. Shortly afterwards, I felt his presence at night when I was in bed.
And the name Demian is a synchro cluster with me right now and I still haven't figured out the reasons why or where it will lead me, if at all. (I posted a comment about this on a previous blog)
Thanks for sharing this.
local sports team shut out for 1st time since a month before the boy showed up,, "T"oo "B"ad.. but you (sports synchro) do have recorded on your hard drive… yeah and the local news tells me,, the town was good enough (just to stay on topic) to rescue,, adopt a 1,000 abandoned (boo hoo, 1/2 seriously) bats (just to contect topics) no no I mean brats,,,,, no no that's not it,,, oh yeah guess it was "rats",, anybody looking for a nice little overly sigmatized pet……
I love this story. I know exactly what you mean when you have to do the unthinkable to our beloved pets. I am still waiting for KiKi to show back up. He was our white cat with so much character, he ran the house.
When I lived in Japan, I was told that a loved pet could become a spirit protector. My host family told me that everyone has a circle of spirits that guide them, usually family members but sometimes a pet. They believed that rarely you could see them just over your shoulder. However, if you treated your pet unkindly, it could also cause you great difficulties from the spirit world.
oh, dear goodness!!! an incredibly beautiful beautiful story – which i read and then re-read just to absorb it all – and see, now my want/need to have another cat surfaces again!!! wonderful story, macgregors!
We take our dog, Noah, to a dog park in the evening. There are a lot of border collies there, Mike, and what cool dogs they are.
Aleksandar – I actually thought of you when I was writing this post, remembering your connection to Demian.
No way, MacGregors! You posted this text today. I've just sent a message to Milovan-Mica Jovanovic whose book Putnici (Travelers – available only in Serbian) is about reincarnation and synchronicity. It also mentions Hesse's Demian, the book that was (with Putnici) very influential in forming my attitude about synchronicity. Demian is at my home from its previous owners whom I've never seen. The fact that your Demian was a cat also fits here, but it is to complicated and personal for explanation.
What a great post. We learn so much from animals and you are so right about what happens when we have to allow one to be put to sleep. Our beautiful border collie, Toby, looked directly into my eyes and moved his head towards me as he left us. He seemed to know what was happening and I felt he was saying how he understood.
I haven't been lucky enough to meet him again, as yet.
Trish didn't mention that for the past two weeks we've had a beautiful Himalayan cat hanging around our pool, taking offerings of food. He has a collar on, but is spending a lot of time in our backyard.
moving! and i think you're quite right with your theory here!
What a wonderful story! I just loved it, read it twice and will come back to read the comments.
How blessed we are to know the love of an animal.
As I have said before my past furry soulmates visit me but not often enough.
Beautiful story.