
A ring cutter
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On Christmas day, I smacked my left ring finger on something and didn’t think anything about it until the next day, when I suddenly realized I couldn’t slide my wedding ring off my finger. The ring, in fact, was so tight against my finger that the area above it to the first knuckle looked malformed. So I started soaking the finger in ice water, hoping the swelling would go down at least enough for me to slide the ring off.
When the swelling seemed to be subsiding, I coated my finger in all types of slippery stuff – soap and shampoos, olive oil and creams. Nothing worked. I continued to soak it in ice water. Then when it seemed like I might be able to slide the ring off, I was getting out of the car with a bag of groceries and smacked the same finger on the door into the house.
It swelled again. I kept telling myself I should probably go to a jeweler and just get the ring cut off. It wasn’t, after all, my real wedding ring. My wedding band had come off in 2004 or so, when I slipped in our local grocery store and hit this same finger. That time, though, the swelling wasn’t bad and I was able to slide the ring off. Around this same time, Rob and I found silver rings in a catalog that we really liked; they had southwestern designs on them, like petroglyphs from an Anasazi cave. So we bought a matching pair and ever since, that was the ring I’d been wearing.
After my dad died, his wedding ring was returned to us by the Neptune Society, the organization that had handled his cremation. At the time of his death, his fingers were retaining so much water we couldn’t remove the ring. So when the ring arrived, Rob tried the ring on, it fit perfectly, and he’s been wearing it for the last eight years.
Yesterday, February 21, we were at the dog park, hanging with the regulars. Cassie, who owns border collie, Willow, and I were talking about how her boss – novelist Tami Hoag – has finally figured out who the murderer is in her long overdue new novel. Like many Geminis (she’s June 8, I’m June 7) Cassie’s hands move a lot when she talks and I happened to notice her ring finger.
It was terribly swollen, the knuckle at least four times the size of mine. When I commented on it, she held her hand out, palm upward, and I could see where the skin on her finger was in serious trouble. Worst trouble than the skin on my finger.
“Look,” I said, and showed her my finger.
Cassie just looked at me. “How weird is that? We need to get these suckers cut off.” Her ring is complex, a family heirloom that is actually three gold rings welded together. Mine is a simple silver ring from a catalog. I was able to turn my ring a little; hers was completely immobile and looked as if it was sinking into the skin and headed for bone.
Early the next morning, Cassie texted me. Karin, who owns the husky Codi, had told Cassie to go to the jeweler she uses. Cassie and I agreed to meet at 11:30 that morning and get our rings cut off. The woman behind the counter owns the place with her husband. She’s a chirpy little thing, and when we presented our swollen ring fingers, she looked up, her eyes wide. “Wow, both of you? This is weird.”
“Do you get many of these?” Cassie asked.
“Actually, yes, but mostly pregnant women who are retaining fluids.”
“Well, we’re well beyond that,” I told her.
She started to gather together her tools. “Uh, this doesn’t involve a saw, does it?” I asked.
“Nope. No saw. But there’ll be some discomfort.”
“You go first, Trish,” Cassie said quickly.
So I laid my hand flat against the counter, palm upward. The woman picked up a small tool that looked like a miniature can opener. A sort of saw, except that it’s turned manually. It sliced through the ring. Then she took two small pairs of pliers and worked the sliced ends away from each other. The relief was instantaneous. Blood flowed back through my finger.
Now it was Cassie’s turn. Her finger was badly swollen and the woman had to stop at one point and get a glass of ice water for her to plunge her finger into – numb it. Once she had sliced through the band, she had trouble pulling back the ends and called in the jeweler from the back room. He examined Cassie’s finger with a jeweler’s microscope, then looked up at her and said, “We’ll be talking about you for a long time to come. The skin has started to grow around the band.”
“Just get it off, okay?” Cassie said. “Please?”
“Trust me,” he said. “This is much easier than the emergency room.”
Then, after many winces and groans, her ring was off. The woman said we could come back in a few weeks, when the swelling had subsided, and have our rings resized. I call Rob and let him know our marriage is being resized. “Cool,” he said.
Cassie and I went to lunch and puzzled over the weird synchro. Two Geminis, two ring fingers. The message? Well, neither Cassie nor I rush to doctors for anything. We’re optimists who figure that ice water soaks and nature will fix the problem. What we learned is: Don’t procrastinate. It sounded sort of silly in this situation, but may be more relevant than we realize.